It was one of those lazy weekends. Those in which you don't really feel like roaming out, window shopping the same cozy malls,but instead you just feel like being home, trying to do some household chores,especially the ones you have been postponing for long. The one job that tops such a list of chores, especially for women, is arranging ( or rather 're-arranging' :) ) the wardrobe. So that weekend I also eagerly set out to clear the mess that my wardrobe had become over the many days of lack of attention.
I was sorting out my clothes, which basically ends up more like a task of sorting out the dresses as , those which still fit me and those which don't ( sadly,for that is often the stark reminder of those extra kilos that I have put on). Suddenly my eyes fell on one of my old & favourite kurtas which was lying at the bottom,missing my attention all this while. It was a pure white kurta ,not so pure anymore :( with some purple design in it. I still remembered that I had liked it so much at the store that I ended up buying it despite the fact that my budget had been overshot. As I unfolded it, I remembered the various occasions when I had worn it, the memories all rushed back into my mind. I even blushed,as I posed with it in front of the mirror, remembering some of the compliments it had won me years ago!!
Without wasting any further time, leaving the cupboard empty and all clothes spread out on bed, I hastily tried the kurta on. And much against my expectation and even more for my happiness, it fit me! Or so I wished to believe. But on closer examination , I was worried. Was it bit too tight at the sleeves? Noo, that must have been probably how the designer meant it to be, I convinced myself. Had it become more of a pale yellow than white? Maybe I could explain that it was off-white. In short, I was so bent upon finding reasons to believe that the dress was still good on me, and that I had no reason to dispose it. Still more, I decided I had to wear it again,anyhow.
Then I stepped back and took a closer look at it. The kurta was indeed pale yellow, it even showed signs of being worn out here and there. Until some time back, even when this was so clearly visible to me, I could not see it actually, because I was too stubborn to let it go! At times, I guess we tend to do the same in life too. Even when the times have changed, and we would have to change too, we might tend to lock ourselves in the shackles of some of our old thoughts, memories , or assumptions. Even there could be things that might have been once good for us, like my old kurta, but with time, we may have to let go of them. On a larger perspective, the same can be applied to our professional & personal lives as well. For example, in my own case,in my job, there is a huge comfort zone which I now realise is something which I have created for myself. It could be just that I am so used to the good old job, that a new task or change in work style, scares me off or at the least unsettles me to a great extent. Just like how I know that I look good in the old kurta, I am sure that within my comfort zone, I can perform well, and there is no big risk of failing. It is that confidence which unknowingly prevents me from trying something new. I agree, there might be some bravehearts out there who love taking up new challenges, but I know I have not been one of them unfortunately.
I then realised that so much like how I kept convincing me not to dispose the old dress, I have often resisted new changes in my life, with reasons I had made myself , in order to cling to my old comfortable status quo. Today I learnt that it might be just better to 'let go', though old is gold, new could be something still better than that as well.. I just hope that I muster enough courage to break out of my comfort zone in future, when life throws new challenges at me
PS: If you are wondering what happened to my old white kurta, I finally put it along with the 'to be disposed' items and decided to get myself a new one. Letting go has its benefits afterall you see,.. ;)
Hridya
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